Letter to my Dream Reader
Going through all the good, the bad, and the ugly times in my life I have made friends, lost many and maybe connected with few. For me telling my story is hard and maybe I'll be able to do it some day, but for now I want to share a small part of me. I am writing this letter remembering those people I have affected, in one way or the other.
A small truth.
I used to think that I am the only one facing all the problems, and those were of grave importance. Well things have changed, and I know I'm not a queen and the world doesn't revolve around me. I know I have made mistakes, and those mistakes cost me lot more than they deserved. I have hurt people, maybe also betrayed them, everyone saw that, but no one saw I was hurting too. My actions were just reactions to things they did and things they said, or at least I thought so. But the world doesn't work that way and they only see what they want to see. For most part I hated them, hated each and everyone, and hated them for a very long time. But time doesn't stop, and my world didn't end, even though it felt like I was spiral downward to an endless pit of darkness.
Anyways, time has passed, and during those dark years, when I felt like I was the only one to suffer the hate and guilt of so many things, I didn't realize that I had to reach out, reach out to myself in order to break free from the curse. I am writing this letter not only to those people but to all of you. The one's who think that they know someone and their actions, and also the ones who think that they have ruined everything in their life, JUST STOP. Please don't hurt yourself or the people around you, because this will only increase the amount of pain.
Those people who think that they can judge someone, please try to at least have some empathy, if you cant do that then just leave them alone. With all those words and actions you are just crushing someone and their whole existence.
Those of you who think this is the end of the world, please reach out, because nobody else can do that for you. You have to become your own Savior. There is no one else in this world who can save you, Only you can do that. So reach out to someone or if you cant do that at least reach out to yourself. Don't feel ashamed because you had your reasons just like I had mine. There is no need for justification, just let it be. Free yourself from the pain, because it has gone long enough.
After all this time, I have come to accept what happened and what is happening, and I cannot let it go on. So, I want you to know I forgive you for all the pain that you have caused, all the nightmares I had to face with my eyes open and all things I had to see. Its time to forgive you, and forgive all of you for accusing me of the person that I was not. I have learned to accept my fate, and though the scars wont heal I have to move on and forgive myself too.
I cannot carry the burden anymore, the weight is too much and this is me breaking free. One day if you read this I hope you forgive me too.
Forgiveness is the only way to redemption.
A small truth.
I used to think that I am the only one facing all the problems, and those were of grave importance. Well things have changed, and I know I'm not a queen and the world doesn't revolve around me. I know I have made mistakes, and those mistakes cost me lot more than they deserved. I have hurt people, maybe also betrayed them, everyone saw that, but no one saw I was hurting too. My actions were just reactions to things they did and things they said, or at least I thought so. But the world doesn't work that way and they only see what they want to see. For most part I hated them, hated each and everyone, and hated them for a very long time. But time doesn't stop, and my world didn't end, even though it felt like I was spiral downward to an endless pit of darkness.
Anyways, time has passed, and during those dark years, when I felt like I was the only one to suffer the hate and guilt of so many things, I didn't realize that I had to reach out, reach out to myself in order to break free from the curse. I am writing this letter not only to those people but to all of you. The one's who think that they know someone and their actions, and also the ones who think that they have ruined everything in their life, JUST STOP. Please don't hurt yourself or the people around you, because this will only increase the amount of pain.
Those people who think that they can judge someone, please try to at least have some empathy, if you cant do that then just leave them alone. With all those words and actions you are just crushing someone and their whole existence.
Those of you who think this is the end of the world, please reach out, because nobody else can do that for you. You have to become your own Savior. There is no one else in this world who can save you, Only you can do that. So reach out to someone or if you cant do that at least reach out to yourself. Don't feel ashamed because you had your reasons just like I had mine. There is no need for justification, just let it be. Free yourself from the pain, because it has gone long enough.
After all this time, I have come to accept what happened and what is happening, and I cannot let it go on. So, I want you to know I forgive you for all the pain that you have caused, all the nightmares I had to face with my eyes open and all things I had to see. Its time to forgive you, and forgive all of you for accusing me of the person that I was not. I have learned to accept my fate, and though the scars wont heal I have to move on and forgive myself too.
I cannot carry the burden anymore, the weight is too much and this is me breaking free. One day if you read this I hope you forgive me too.
Forgiveness is the only way to redemption.
Thank you for your post. I hope you keep writing, and reaching out. You wrote well, and with excellent grammar and strong word usage. I hope you have found someone to hug you and remind you how special you are, and most importantly, like yourself. I am older than you, and I have the advantage of years, to tell you to hang on, and move forward.
ReplyDeleteThank you also for liking my post. Please look around my blog and share with me what you like, and your thoughts. Take care.
:D Thank you so much for your kind words. I will try to keep on my writing. You know these words mean a lot!! :)
ReplyDeleteLove it, great start. You sound like a strong positive person I cant wait to read more of you blog.
ReplyDeleteDiana
http://dianasbookreviews.com/
Thank you so much Diana. This letter was me being strong. :) It feels really good to express what you really feel.
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice to be able to relate to another blogger doing Blogging 101. I also am using my writing to help me be a stronger, happier, nicer person. This post was a great start to a new and improved you, whover you want to be. I cannot wait to read more and see you grow. - K
ReplyDeleteReally well written and honest, and thats great. Its hard to open your self up to the world, but I think it helps with healing and understanding.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Appreciate your support :D
ReplyDeleteYa, sharing is healthy, but it is hard when you have faced so many wrong people. Thank you for your comment!! :)
ReplyDelete